How Do You Really Define Love

Quite often, people wonder, 'what is love?' How do you define it? How do you even explain it? It doesn't take too much of a genius to know what it feels like, but maybe that's the point. Maybe love is not a name. Maybe love is not a definition either. Maybe, just maybe, love is actually a state of being. A trance like state of mind that ignites and elevates every single emotion and feeling known to us. Maybe love is how you feel when you are, in fact, in love. I've taken my own personal survey, as I usually tend to do for my research, and I've asked people from all walks of life what is love to them. I have gotten every possible answer and response as well as reaction I can ever get to this question.

One woman responded: "Dude, why ask me? I've been divorced like four times now. Besides, all men are scum." Well, in my well educated opinion on the subject, this woman has clearly chosen a path of least resistance. 'Bitterness.' My high school counselor once told me, "life's experiences can either make you 'bitter' or 'better.' The outcome of your life is only up to you." I could not agree more. In fact, I concur absolutely without doubt. Another woman I asked simply answered: "Love is a gift. It's what you do with it that cannot easily be defined." I have to admit, I was dumbstruck by this response at first, but after about an hour or so of recollection and contemplation, I have to agree as well. Not too many people can answer this question for one of two reasons only... either they have not been in love before, or they have loved and lost. This is quite common according to my surveying the general public, which is not easy to do in Houston, Tx. I found that death of a loved one, missed communication and divorce are the three main reasons for love and relationships ending in today's society.

Often times, people will become bored with who they have and want to stray outside of their relationships and find what they are looking for elsewhere. Mostly due to the media we Americans are so used to, do couples find it more welcome to have outside relationships and have what is called an "open relationship." The media only ever shows the "beautiful people" to represent the general public and the internet is not any better. Take a good look at the ads on the internet, do you see regular, ordinary, average Joes and Janes to be the spokes model on the ads online? Hell no! You see the pretty perky, unnaturally perfect people to be placed on ads to represent us and that does not help one little bit. People who wish to stray elsewhere for sex or romance or even a connection are not in love with the person they say "I love you" to. They are only with them for convenience. This is wrong, in my opinion.

True love knows no conditions. True love is, for lack of a better word, unconditional. If you are in a loving monogamous relationship and they ask to change ANYTHING about you, that is not love. That is a condition. Men who pressure their girlfriends or wives into weight loss are not in love with them, they are loving them under certain conditions, and that is not love. Women who love their boyfriends or husbands but pressure them into getting a surgery to help stop his snoring, are not in love with them, they are loving them under conditions. Do not be fooled by the pressures and conditions of today's single society. If you find a person who accepts you and loves you for who , what , AND how you really are, THEN and ONLY then do you know for sure they love you. Understanding and patience are one thing all their own, but so is common sense. Listen to your intuition. If you don't know how to listen to your intuition, just pay attention to the 'red flags' that pop up. they warn you of approaching danger for a reason. DO NOT IGNORE THEM!

  Too many people are blinded by the hoopla and the glitz and glamor of romance that they loose sight of what love and romance really is. For your own enjoyment, education, and ultimately, safety, do not be mistaken by the material side of romance. The material side of romance is nice, for what it is, but it is not true love or true romance. For example, cute cuddly teddy bears and lovely bouquets of exotic flowers and store bought valentine cards are nice, but that is not what romance is. this is just a common cliche conceived by the American Government, bestowed upon the general public to spend money on useless, material goods that will clutter the house and create fire hazards, rot your teeth, and make corporate clones even richer. Love is not what you get on St. Valentine's Day. Love is the time you spend with your loved one every day of your life together. Love is not the chocolates that are brought home for you from the local convenience store, it is the meal you and your love cook together and savor and enjoy together in the comfort of your own home. Love is not the cute, cuddly teddy bear you get on your birthday, it is coming home to the one you love and fall asleep with and wake up next to every day of your life together. Love is not the amount of money spent on you or them, Love is the life you live together.

More often these days lovers will text each other to let the other know how they feel. This is all fine and dandy, I do the same thing with my lover, however, this is not the definition of love, nor the cause for it. It is simply a channel of communication and is too often taken too heavily as the be all end all in their relationships. Don't let the materialistic cliches of society blind you to the point of not being able to see what true love is all about. That is not what love is.  

  Only the few who have and indeed do experience love know how to explain what love is. Love is being there for your lover when your family refuses to be kind to them when you bring your lover home for a birthday celebration or for Christmas holiday. Love is defending your lover when somebody unknown does something cruel at the expense of your lover in a public place. Love is embracing your lover when they are in extreme pain, whether it be emotional or physical pain. Love is holding your lover when they are cold, or when they are scared or afraid of something. Love is having your lover's back when they are approached with harm. Love is defending their honor. Love is loving every little freckle, every scar, every blemish, every bruise, every physical, emotional and mental trait they may have. Love is being ready, willing and able to switch places with your lover when they are feeling bad in any way. Love is wishing them all the happiness in the world ahead of yourself. Love is caring for them when they are ill or uneasy.

Love is knowing that falling asleep and waking up by their side every day for the rest of your lives is heaven enough for you. Love is never even having to say "I love you" in any language, it is already understood. Love is when you find your lover more and more beautiful everyday. Love is taking every flaw your lover has and making it adorable. Love is wanting so badly to scream from the highest mountain or roof top that you're in love with them. Love is dying for them. 

Indeed, love is blind, yes, but love is beautiful. Love is unconditional... That's love, baby.