How Bad Do You Want It?

More often than not, singles in the dating community question themselves and wonder common questions like "what am I doing wrong?" , "Is it me?" , and "What is wrong with this picture?" . These questions pop into the mind of every single person out on the dating market, gay, bi, straight or otherwise. This is not new in fact this is very common. I have now lost count now, how many people ask themselves these questions and similar questions to these. This happens after a period of defective dates and negative experiences. Most likely these questions come in after several bad experiences consecutively occur. There is nothing wrong with you or what you are doing. Everybody has good times and bad times. It is a process called life. Life happens to everybody and too often, we get frustrated with our experiences, especially in dating, which can seemingly as difficult as brain surgery.

Let me let you in on the colossal secret to leaving yourself open to infinite possibilities of dating, relationships, and love. It is alright to get upset and frustrated with the ups and downs in dating. It is normal. We ALL go through it. I know I have. There are three major points (lessons) to remember in dating and relationships. Here they are.

Lesson 1:

Open Your Mind

If you put yourself out into the dating market with a closed mind and only wanting a specific type of person in mind and are only expecting to find one type of person, best of luck to you because you will not get it... EVER. You have to open your mind, and leave yourself open to different types of people in different situations, from different walks of life. Doing so will ensure you to meet more people, and will broaden your horizons and will much more likely guarantee you to meet someone. Let me be more specific. If a skinny, pretty upper middle class single girl is on the dating market and only wants a tall, tanned, hunky, muscular Brad Pitt type of guy often labeled as a "hottie" then chances are, she will not meet him. It isn't because he doesn't exist. They do... TRUST. they are just not always interested in people of the same type. Here is the age old saying, 'opposites attract' .

Too many times, a single, gay man will only want the pretty perfect, flawless type and is only interested in that type. That there is the very reason why that particular person is still single. He needs to leave himself open to the possibility of meeting someone else. Maybe, just maybe he is not meant to be with someone like that. Maybe he is meant to be with another type. Same with the skinny pretty single girl. Maybe she isn't supposed to be with that pretty, muscular, hottie type of guy. Maybe she is meant to be with another type of guy. There are so many different types of people in different walks of life that are just waiting to meet you. You just have to open your mind and leave yourself open to the possibilities that this universe has in store for you.

Lesson 2:

Have Confidence That you Will Find Someone

Nobody wants someone who is lacking in self esteem. Nobody wants a whiner. Nobody wants to be with a downer or with a negative Gloomy Guss. What SO many people fail to realize is that confidence was often mistaken for magic in the olden days, because when someone has confidence in themselves, they tend to have a certain inner glow that illuminates from inside out and they just shine and makes them more attractive. for example, have you ever heard/seen someone say "There is something different about you. What is it?". That is the "glow" of confidence. Without that confidence, attraction is only skin deep. With it, you will have someone see you for who you truly are. You just need to find your confidence and let it shine.

Lesson 3

How Bad Do You Want It

This is the tough one. How often have you heard, "If you want it, just ask," or "All you have to do is pray," etc. Believe it or not there is always, no matter what religion or belief you have, a grant if you ask. The extreme misconception to this is simply this... How bad do you want it? Christians and Catholics alike are taught to ask/pray for whatever you may want (within reason, of course), but what too many seem to miss is the second part of this grant. that second part is a question in return. "How bad do you want it?" The Buddhists, Pagans, Wiccans, alike, will chant for what they want. The same goes for them. 'You want it? ok cool. Now, how bad do you want it?'

ANY higher power or universe you believe in, works the same way. All you have to do is ask.... yes. BUT... if you truly want it, you have to ask yourself how bad do you want it? God will give you want you want if you believe, however, you have to be VERY certain of to what lengths you are willing to go to get it. Hence the ultimate question, How bad do you want it? A woman in her bedroom is on her knees praying for God to send her her man. WELL, she is too busy focusing on what she wants but refuses to remember to keep in mind how bad she wants it. Is she willing to to go through all the ups and downs in the process of dating and courting. A gay man is looking and looking for a man to have and to hold but does he keep in mind what he is willing to go through to keep him? Probably not.

It doesn't matter what you believe in, God, Buddha, the Universe, the elements, whatever it is, if you ask for something your heart desires, you have to be sure to remember how bad do you want it? Here is a little piece of advise for you. God is slick, baby. He will give you what you want, but if you really what it, be ready. Be ready to go through some things in order to get it. I can't count how many times I prayed for something big, but I went through so much crap just to get it. (my job). So the question remains. You want it? How bad do you want it? Far too many people will ask for a man or a woman who will be good to them, someone who they are compatible with in every way. someone who they can grow old with, but hey never pay attention to the risks they will have to take in order to get it. Once something goes sour in a relationship, people tend to give up once it gets too hard. That only means they really must not have wanted it all that bad. You have to really want something in order to ask the Gods for it, you know what I mean? Because if you just want something to have without intrinsic value, you might as well just go and get it yourself. Everything in this world comes with consequences. Everyone in this world comes with baggage you have to ask yourself, are they worth it, and how bad do you want it.

Always remember these lessons, these will be beneficial in your trek to find your true love. You have to be patient, be confident, and be ready to go through for it.